I think it’s time I tell this story because loads of my friends have been prodding me about finally deciding to have a baby when I have always said I wanted to adopt one.
Ok here goes…when I “thought” I was pregnant, I said to myself “nah, it can’t be possible…my period is just late …even when I know that “late period” for me was not possible…at over 30 and having gone through more than 200 period cycles, a girl indeed knows her body clock.
Anyway, I still thought to myself…”I may have made a mistake. Home pregnancy tests can be so inaccurate, “Two tests and a doctor’s appointment later, I could no longer deny that I was pregnant. My first though was, “How on earth can I be someone’s birth mother?” I called a close confidant and shared the situation….she screamed…and well after questions and prodding, suggested an abortion..urrgghhh….!!!
Don’t get me wrong, I am not Mary or the Pope’s sister....but at the point that this baby was growing in me, I was at my lowest…nothing excited me anymore, nothing seemed new…I had gone through two marriage proposals in 3 months before I met her dad…he was a great charmer and of course good looking (trust your 9jachic). So I thought to myself, “Why lose something new and exciting? It is not like I would have problems taking care of it”..and yeah, If I had an abortion, I would be back to a hopeless, empty life.
When I told my family, it was like a tale of two cities…my brother was very supportive, he gave me assurance to do what I though was best for me regardless of what anyone said. I don’t know where I would be without him. My Dad on the other hand, clammed up and stopped talking to me…..though he’s coming around slowly now that the baby has been born.
I lost the majority of my friends. I was a tad bit of a party girl before I got pregnant and I knew a baby meant that part of my life was over. In addition, I have had several friends who have terminated pregnancies before..so I had thought to myself that they may not understand why I decided to do this alone..therefore, I kept the news to myself and stayed away from the party scene.
At work too, I kept mute. I worked late like everyone else, did my bit without complaints and carried off being pregnant for over 7months without anyone around me knowing. Even after delivery, colleagues still come up to me and ask….When were you pregnant? ….They actually thought I was eating sooo much my tummy was expanding like that of a hippo! Seriously!!
Thus far, I think I enjoy being a single parent much more than if I had a partner! It gives me the opportunity to run the show! The joys of being a parent is indescribable….fountains of overflowing joyful things. As of right now, the most joyful moments are watching my munchkin healthy, grow and develop; when she smiles and giggles as I walk into the house from work, my heart melts and bounces. She is my inspiration to be a better person…every day is a miracle!
Before I sign out, just a piece of advice for anyone going through the same dilemma of unplanned pregnancy, scared and considering abortion…I would say…my life has never been more purposeful….something to look forward to..causing me to extend myself and reach my potentials inorder to create a better life for both of us. I would say, consider that there are loads of women out there who constantly pray for a child of their own, who go through the devastation of still born births, multiple miscarriages and the long adoption process years…..these women see you as the lucky ones and yeah…the baby may be your only chance to be called a mum…a Destiny Child!!