Monday, 17 February 2014

Yes...I Tested, I Did not Terminate and I Do Not Regret!!

I think it’s time I tell this story because loads of my friends have been prodding me about finally deciding to have a baby when I have always said I wanted to adopt one.

Ok here goes…when I “thought” I was pregnant, I said to myself “nah, it can’t be possible…my period is just late …even when I know that “late period” for me was not possible…at over 30 and having gone through more than 200 period cycles, a girl indeed knows her body clock.

Anyway, I still thought to myself…”I may have made a mistake. Home pregnancy tests can be so inaccurate, “Two tests and a doctor’s appointment later, I could no longer deny that I was pregnant. My first though was, “How on earth can I be someone’s birth mother?” I called a close confidant and shared the situation….she screamed…and well after questions and prodding, suggested an abortion..urrgghhh….!!!

Don’t get me wrong, I am not Mary or the Pope’s sister....but at the point that this baby was growing in me, I was at my lowest…nothing excited me anymore, nothing seemed new…I had gone through two marriage proposals in 3 months before I met her dad…he was a great charmer and of course good looking (trust your 9jachic). So I thought to myself, “Why lose something new and exciting? It is not like I would have problems taking care of it”..and yeah, If I had an abortion, I would be back to a hopeless, empty life.

When I told my family, it was like  a tale of two cities…my brother was very supportive, he gave me assurance to do what I though was best for me regardless of what anyone said. I don’t know where I would be without him. My Dad on the other hand, clammed up and stopped talking to me…..though he’s coming around slowly now that the baby has been born.

I lost the majority of my friends. I was a tad bit of a party girl before I got pregnant and I knew a baby meant that part of my life was over. In addition, I have had several friends who have terminated pregnancies before..so I had thought to myself that they may not understand why I decided to do this alone..therefore, I kept the news to myself and stayed away from the party scene.

At work too, I kept mute. I worked late like everyone else, did my bit without complaints and carried off being pregnant for over 7months without anyone around me knowing. Even after delivery, colleagues still come up to me and ask….When were you pregnant? ….They actually thought I was eating sooo much my tummy was expanding like that of a hippo! Seriously!!

Thus far, I think I enjoy being a single parent much more than if I had a partner! It gives me the opportunity to run the show! The joys of being a parent is indescribable….fountains of overflowing joyful things. As of right now, the most joyful moments are watching my munchkin healthy, grow and develop; when she smiles and giggles as I walk into the house from work, my heart melts and bounces. She is my inspiration to be a better person…every day is a miracle!

Before I sign out, just a piece of advice for anyone going through the same dilemma of unplanned pregnancy, scared and considering abortion…I would say…my life has never been more purposeful….something to  look forward to..causing me to extend myself and reach my potentials inorder to create a better life for both of us. I would say, consider that there are loads of women out there who constantly pray for a child of their own, who go through the devastation of still born births, multiple miscarriages and the long adoption process years…..these women see you as the lucky ones and yeah…the baby may be your only chance to be called a mum…a Destiny Child!!






25 comments:

  1. A life is always worth much more in God's sight thanks for sharing and for your courage and bravery especially in an era when doing the right thing is frowned at.

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    1. It wasn't an easy decision but we thank God for the strength

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  2. Nice one, girl. But this is not the full gist na? I was expecting plenty details. U didnt tell us how the pregnancy came about - did the condom break or U guys didnt use at all? What about the 2 unsuccessful proposals? Release gist biko!

    That said, I believe you made the right decision. Babies are so magical, they are fresh from Gods bosom (not yet polluted by this bad world), you can't have such a 'taste' of God himself and remain the same. For me, I would say it was my first time of really understanding the meaning of the word LOVE. No other relationship even comes close to that of a mother and her baby (my opinion oh, loverboys and girls shld not bite me)

    Finally, you can't say you prefer being a single mom, since you haven't tried it the other way yet, can you? Lets just say you love your life as it is. Thats whats important at the end of the day so its all good.

    Waiting for the next edition!!!
    mmuuaaaah!

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    1. Very well said

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    2. Oh Bino keep it tuned ..we may tell the story of the Dad soon enough.

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  3. Nice piece!
    Am sure when your daughter grows up she would be able to read this and be happy at the decision you made.
    Question is since the father is cute and someone you like why choose to be single parent? If you can have a whole bread why take half, just saying.
    Dont think because you prefer or enjoy to run the show is enough good reason.

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  4. May she continue to bring u joy dear, she is a blessing from above. I can tell cos she is my god daughter.
    lol @ Bino i kinda want some of those questions answered in the next piece too especially the condom breaking part,, hahaha.

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  5. Wow ... Thanks for sharing. Puts a new perspective on things.

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  6. Wow! Great Story...you are such a brave girl. trust you to be a great mum as well...looking forward to the next episode

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  7. Being your number 1 fan, Number 1 friend and your NUMBER 1 FIEND, You know I got your back. I guess you know who this is. In case you are still guessing, I clue you, I didn't make the date cos I caught a rap, trying a tap, now I need a pat on my back. Love you to bits baybe.

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  8. Just so you know.....you just saved a soul somewhere.

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    1. Oh my!! You make it all worth it! Thank you for this comment

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  9. You are brave dear, God bless you for your decision. He will lift you up and prosper you and your beautiful daughter. I know everything works out in the end dear. Trust God. I hope the father is there to support as well though. You might enjoy the independence but that girl needs her daddy too. Kisses dear love u loads:-)

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  10. I had one 13 years ago. I will never ever forget that child! Every single year I am reminded. I need to get to heaven by fire or by force just so I can meet him/her. I know I am forgiven by God's grace but....it's just hard to forget. I hope this post and your piece helps other ladies and young girls

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    1. Well done for sharing this. Hopefully, this reaches young girls who will be impacted by these. Remain favoured.

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  11. If d man want u and baby, y don't u marry him, if his willing. Bringing up a child alone is'nt d best. I believe is againts ur religion. So make ur daughter happy by having a full family. Being a single parent doesn't help a child or children. It affect them later on. Think over dis for ur daughter. Make her happy by seeing her dad and mum while she's growing up. Friends ll never tell u d truth, they say tins to make u happy while dey knw d truth inside them. Pls don't think abt urself think abt her b4 urs. U re really Brave ,pls accept her father into ur life if his willing or should I say ready. For d love of God and ur daughter.

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    1. I appreciate your concern but atimes its better to be single than to be in a marriage for the wrong reasons...9jachic can still be married to another man who will love her and the daughter,I believe its better to bring up a child in an atmosphere of love

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  12. Hum...9jachic doing her thing again...I salute your courage anytime and your strong views on anything u set ur mind to do. Tis always a beautiful thing when you enjoy the privilege of being called mummy.
    So to that lil cutie whose smile you won't give up even for the best diamonds, pls give your heart some room to let her dad in especially if he is a real man and up to it - whatever IT means to u girl.
    Above all, keep being true to yourself cos that's what matters at the end of it all.

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  13. Congratulations my dear. The baby is so beautiful that I doubt the dad won't want some daddy activity in her life. Doin wot makes you happy is vital, so stay happy and stay blessed. Cheers

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  14. Congatulations! You can never go wrong with the right decision
    May your daughter continue to give you joy...

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  15. Congratulations!!!! Best decision. At least you are not having sleepless nites wondering if it was a girl or a boy that you aborted. May you continue to find all the joy and happiness of motherhood.

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  16. Waoww!Really an amazing experience to share,but darl,have a rethink of just taking up d courage once more n going into d journey of matrimony if d guy u knw'kinda proposes',afterall u may c d oda side of a 'joint venture'is quite different from 'd single momship'give it a try if it comes.

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