Friends with benefits, no strings attached, part-time boyfriend, one-night stand, fling, hook-up, booty call, last call, quickie find, banger, safe house , sex loco…….I could have lived with any of that….
....but NO!!…he seduced me with a pure voice, sent me messages designed to weaken steel, called me at odd hours, spoke kind words, and stroked my hair to lower my guard, to make me trust him! He sullied my body, my voice, my heart; remade me as a terrifying love monster; turned me into his companion……got me day dreaming…thinking of being whisked away…......breaking down all my guards….oh your 9jachic was falling…falling faster and faster….looking but not seeing……..
That’s my head talking now!
I am not averse to love..oh no I am not!.. but yeah….I am not an advocate either.
Some girls are lucky to blink and meet their soul mates in a whiff, while some are lucky to find love in hopeless places.
Those like me, however, know that we can’t rest in hopelessness enough to find love…he has to hold us down intellectually, make us laugh at the silliest things, melt us with surprises……so I dare say..hopeless place? …certainly not for me!
*yawns* …so back to this guy…Girls, you know how these things work, you go hanging out …looking for fun…for some airy flights and instead, you find a solid brick, something at the top of your wishlist, which you have pushed to the bottom due to its near non-existence.
Yeah…we (9jachic and this mystery guy) met, danced all night, talked till the early morning birds came out to roost, sang, teased, laughed, kissed and danced all over again.
With deep rooted feet, your 9jachic knew this has to be for a season, designed to end soon…he must be after sex…or what else do they ever want?
But NO! You push and he pulls.....he resists …says….I want to make love to you…not have sex with you! I want to meet your every demand, to please you... there are so many things I wish I could do, so many surprises……I want to make you happy!” …..you know….all those words!
How can a girl fight that?
Difficult you may say…well..your 9jachic laughs at his words, talks about other possible guys and teases him of his other girls (existing or non-existing)!!
Afterall, the Bible says… “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it”. So you certainly can’t blame me for trying!! I am only following the Bible’s words (guarding my heart) !!!
Yes….I can live with requests like …. let’s take it slow, fuck-buddies, hang-out partners, sex without commitment.……….It’s safer, it’s easier, it’s resistible….but when he comes stringing my heart along, there’s cause for concern…confusion…..do I just give in to the heat of the flesh or do I let go of my heart??
What to do???
What not to do??